Journal of Organic Psychology /
 Natural Attraction Ecology (OP/NAE)

Project NatureConnect  Akamai University Institute of Applied Ecopsychology
VOLUME 1,  NUMBER 2011-2012                                                      Dr.  Michael J. Cohen, Editor

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Coach and Trainer: Cold Front, Rowing and Aloe Finger Frame Nature Activity Improve Mom, Parent and Family Outlet Limits 

The activity of a finger frame as part of the eight major nature-strengthening techniques sounded like what I do to address challenges, I attune to Nature to seek guidance. Using the framing technique seemed unnecessary to me for how I process, but I tried it to see what it did.

I walked about outside this evening waiting to see what attraction might call to me. I became attracted to the area under my peach trees. This attraction was thanked, and I sat down on the patio bricks. Leaves had fallen the day before when the cold front blew in and were scattered around me. I held up my hands and made the frame with my fingers. The shape was a pleasing diamond. Through it, within it, there were pots of radish seedlings, lettuce seedlings, and an aloe plant in an heirloom pot. The aloe, in particular, brought the focus of the session up.

The 'wrangler' that wanted attention was the issue with my family. I say 'the', because though there are several issues, they are all connected and part of the same parcel, so to speak. My parents have sort of dropped their responsibilities as parents, as people striving to fulfill their purpose. The aloe and the other plants recalled to me very pleasing memories of childhood, in the 'plant room'(used as a greenhouse) with so many intriguing plants that created settings for the imagination, of dinosaur realms and faery homes. And of the garden, where so much care and creativity had been lavished, and my parents seemed to be at a place in their lives when they were striving for personal growth and awareness. At some point, I think when I was around 10, and progressively more so afterwards, they stopped caring for the plants, lost their connection with the natural world. Not completely, but their behavior changed, how they pursued their interests changed. It became a way of avoiding growth, a show rather than a practice. I missed the plants and the charm of the home, back then. It was nurturing.

The aloe plant was affirming to me something I'd wondered already, that I was to be and have been taking over the role my parents used to have. Of creating a certain atmosphere in a home, of knowledge of plants, of creative outlets within daily life, of nurturing one's family--- Whatever they're doing now, it's only scarcely these things, it's not a focus like it used to be. The aloe and other plants were affirming to me what I'd already been doing in my home, with my family, they were like a trainer or coach for me. And I want to not only continue this but continue the progress of it my whole life, in a way my parents didn't do. I can honor what energy and inspiration was once there in them by continuing what they no longer can. If they someday grow able to again, well and good, but I sense I am now the 'matriarch'. I am very grateful to the plants, and earth and cool air, for sharing this with me.

Other members of my study cohort did different activities with their parents.  Cynthia, a coach and trainer, emailed to say "I have started taking rowing classes by the river. This was my mother's day gift to my mom (they had a 2x1 offer so I joined her), so we were together it was nice for a change to do an activity with someone else that we were sharing the activity and not by myself or guiding clients or students.

We did it by the river before the class as the instructor was late. I was a little troubled as I was behind a lot of things I had to do of work and it made me feel restless and also with a sense of internal rush. But there was a struggle saying that sometimes things happen for a reason and maybe I just needed to chill to go back to my chores with more energy and a rejuvenated spirit.

So we sat by the river shore facing the water and a little island across from us. I asked for permission and started to see the place much more beautiful and alive and I truly thanked the place for its beauty and for letting me share it and also acknowledging its contribution and receiving its consent gave me a deep sense of peace. And I thanked the place again for giving me the opportunity to come back to my true nature after a day at the office. the place seemed to embrace me in its beauty and perfection and I knew I was being accepted there to do the activity and also I thanked the area for also giving me the chance to do it with my mom (we work together so most of the time we spend together is at the office, this was a great way to connect also with her and for us to reconnect in our mother-daughter bond and not just associates!)

After doing this, I was feeling much much better, much connected to myself, my mom and the earth, I felt the deep and unconditional love that nature gives us and I reconnected with this aspect of my mom, and I reconnected with this unconditional and pure love I have always felt from her. And I had the need to thank her for this because even I am an adult, and our relationship has evolved with the years, it is still comforting to have people who see me for who I really am and don't judge me for my actions I am just accepted and nurtured in love. And that is true with both my parents… and this activity also reconnected me with them. Was really nice. And this also triggered a very interesting conversation about asking permission and obtain consent to relate with each other… (my Italian roots bring a cultural idea that everybody has the right to intrude in everybody else's business) and we agreed to think about different “rituals” to ask for permission and it is also ok if we don't feel like it not to give consent and that doesn't mean anything else besides this is my limits. I am not sure if there is a daughter day but I can assure you Friday was a great mother/daughters day for us!
I discovered the importance of being outside of our minds and stories to actually notice the attractions, how beautiful, reach and loving it is to also notice the attractions in peoples nature. We can develop this sensibility when we don't have consent to interact with a place or people and also to realize it in ourselves when others “try to conquer” our own nature, space or time.
Being unconditionally loved and accepted is one of the greates gifts we obtain from nature. That love means no limits or boundaries
When I work as a coach and trainer I note that sometimes we tend to intrude with our perfect solution or information and the other people haven't given us their consent! How many people do we know that they just spit their truths in our faces and we haven't even asked for them??? I need to be really careful and conscious about this in my day to day work!

I had this dream about being in the water floating and having the water not just around me, but supporting me, holding me and nurturing me. I woke up filled with peace and love!"

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